Self-Esteem vs. Self-Acceptance

This means that we don’t try to change our beliefs about ourselves, but rather that we observe our actions and accept them regardless of success or failure.

Self-esteem is based on our beliefs about ourselves. Research has found that this process of trying to boost our self-esteem using positive affirmations to change our beliefs can leave us feeling worse about ourselves.

So, if trying to change our beliefs about ourselves is not worth the effort, what do we do instead?

Self-Acceptance! This means that we don’t try to change our beliefs about ourselves, but rather that we observe our actions and accept them regardless of success or failure.

Michael Jordan famously said, “I’ve missed more than nine thousand shots in my career. I’ve lost almost three hundred games. Twenty six times I have been trusted to take the game-winning shot – and missed. I have failed over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.” 

Self-Acceptance trumps self-esteem because it allows us to avoid holding on too tightly to both negative and positive beliefs and instead accepting your actions as they are. 

What matters most is what you stand for, what you do, and the way you behave. This is far more important than the stories you believe about yourself.